Chapter 1 - Introduction

I sat there looking out the window, wondering how in the world did I get to this point. The street below was busy with cars, and trucks happily on their way to work or home or wherever they were going. The people on the sidewalks hurried on their way as if they did not have a care in the world. Here I sat looking down on them all wondering where I was going to go. I looked at the clock it showed 2:45, so I knew I had to make a decision soon. Which path would I take this time?



I guess it all started when my parents split up and I had to learn to stand on my own two feet. Of course now days I knew more people whose parents had split up them ones whose parents had stayed together. What makes people do the things they do? What makes people choose whether they are going to take the smooth path of the sidewalk which may have a few cracks in it or even a chunk missing but it was always dependable and predictable? Or the unknown path off of the sidewalk, through the trees, over the mountain, and around the boulder. There is no easy route when you get off the sidewalk. It takes courage, faith, trust, and strength to face everything that the path lays before you. All these things are things that I am still trying to find. Things that I need as if they were food or water.



Here I am 16 years old and have some of the biggest decisions of my life to make. I had left home a few months ago. Home what a strange word. Is there really such a thing? Talk about stepping off the sidewalk. The day I walked out the front door was one of the biggest steps that I had every taken. Talk about jumping off the mountain top into the valley. Things were bad at home. Mom, her boyfriend, and lots of misery. There had to be more to this life them that, right? Somehow, someway, I was going to find out.



So now what? I looked around the apartment. My roommate was going to be home soon. Things were such a mess, clothes everywhere, dishes in the sink and the counter, and papers all over the floor. I was suppose to be at work by 4:00. My roommate, Jennie, and I had been fighting a lot lately. Who made the mess, who was going to clean it up, she was bringing her boyfriend over so I was to be gone, who was to do the grocery shopping, all the normal stuff that went into having a roommate. Was this really worth it? Leaving home was the easy part it was everything else that went with it that was the hard part.



Jennie and I had met at work. She was looking for a roommate and I needed a place to stay. We were really good friends and it seemed like the best thing for both of us. She was engaged to be married to a soldier who was in basic training. Soon they would be getting married and then I would have to decide what I was going to do. School was not an option. Being in the real world meant that would have to wait. Money was to tight and lets get real, the money you make working in a fast food restaurant was not enough to pay the bills and go to school. I took what ever hours I could get and did the best I could. A few months ago I had tried to go back to night school to get my degree but the money and time it took was to stressful and time consuming. So I jumped back up on the sidewalk, played it safe and dropped out of school for the second time and tried to get more hours at work. One day I would get a diploma, but for now it was going to have to wait.

I glanced over to the clock it was 3:15. Fifteen minutes before I had to leave. I ran around picking up the papers, threw the dishes into the dishwasher, and cleaned up my clothes. Two more weeks and I will have to decide if I am going to stay here or find a new place to live. I grabbed my keys and jacket and headed out the door. Off for another night of minimum wage, dirty tables, and being polite to people that really could care less about me or my life.